Whether consciously or subconsciously, people have been trying and bring me closer to Christianity my whole life. Some more subtly while others flat out mentioned conversion. Let’s start at the beginning.

The high school years

Summer between freshman and sophomore year, a friend of mine tried to convince me to go to a Christian boarding school. She was moving schools and thought it would be fun if I went with her. I mentioned I was Jewish and would probably be a minority if not the only one in the whole school. Her response: no one would care because they’re accepting. I then asked if I would be required to go to chapel for services on Sundays, seeing as I do not in fact pray on Sundays, clarifying that if I didn’t need to go I would feel better about it because it wasn’t required. I still remember her response: “well you have to go to chapel, it is still a Christian school after all and it’s part of the school curriculum.” Needless to say I did not end up switching schools. 

Even though I stayed in a diverse public high school I still got cornered into the very innocuous statement “well you can always convert” from a good friend during lunch block. We were making plans to hang out and I mentioned I couldn’t Friday night because my family always had a big Shabbat meal together. So she mentioned I could come to her church youth group one evening during the week. I was honored to be invited and accepted. After the group event we were chatting at lunch again and I mentioned how Christianity was different from Judaism in subtle ways and how her youth group was so much larger than mine—because there are less Jews even in places like the suburbs of Boston. Her immediate answer “well you can always convert.” When I picked my jaw up off the floor I clarified that I loved being Jewish I was just making some observations.

Now for the college years

Leaving Boston to go to college in Colorado held a number of challenges. First of which is the fact that Colorado is not as Jew friendly, resulting in more antisemitism to start, but that’s a different story. I made a friend freshman year who was a relatively religious Christian. Her roommate was even more so. When her roommate found out I was Jewish she spent maybe an hour peppering me with questions. I was happy to chat because most people don’t care enough to ask so I was flattered. Turns out she only asked for my number so she could give it to someone in her Catholic community who proceeded to call and request a sit down with me. I had two sit downs with this girl where she spent hours asking me questions about my religion and relationship to God. It took me longer than I care to admit to realize she was constantly comparing similarities between Judaism and Catholicism for a reason. Her question came in the form of “so why do you feel connected to Judaism instead of say Catholicism?” I explained it was more than just a religion to me and I loved the holidays and sentiment of mitzvah. I’m not sure if it’s because I also mentioned that Judaism is the oldest monotheistic religion so why did she feel more connected to Catholicism instead of say the religion that it stemmed from, Judaism, or when I made very clear that I was happy being Jewish and loved my religion and culture, but our second meeting ended much faster than the first. I never heard from her or my friend’s roommate again. I guess I wasn’t a very good candidate for joining the Catholic community on campus she was kvelling about. 

Next up, the relationship years

Jake and I started dating junior year of college and we moved in together right after college. Once we moved in together I started getting invites to his family gatherings—Thanksgiving and Christmas mainly. One year Christmas fell over Hanukkah. I vividly remember lighting my mini menorah with Jake in his room—out of sight of everyone’s Christmas. During Passover, we were invited to a family gathering as well. Jake made sure to explain that we couldn’t eat wheat among a few other things—he was celebrating with me in an effort to learn more about the holidays I celebrate as they are incredible important to me (and now us). When we arrived his brother announced he’d been slaving over the smoker all day, “everything is pork and cheese.” We had some fruit and the emergency matzah I brought. Later that year Jake confided in me that someone close to him made the remark that he should not get serious with me because I was Jewish “and that’s just not right.” I asked him how his parents felt and he said they did respond to the statement when it was made and haven’t said anything about my being Jewish one way or another. It took me a while to realize that they may not have said anything against my Jewishness but they also didn’t make any effort to support—even just in the form of listening when Jake explained what we could and couldn’t eat on a major Jewish holiday like Passover.

The irony that Jake did in fact convert

Now I see the irony in the fact that Jake ended up converting to Judaism as our relationship grew serious. It took him three years to prove he actually wanted to convert and wasn’t doing it just for me. He was even turned away three times, which we read was customary but doubted would happen. This is because the goal of the Jewish community isn’t to be the biggest with the most followers, but rather to have just that, a community of people who want to be there. I asked him on more than one occasion if he was doing it just for me and if so, to not do it because I would marry him either way. Three years, two beit dins, countless classes, and endless conversations with multiple rabbis later, Jake converted to Judaism. While Jake was in the process of converting he did mentioned it was a longer process then he thought and was even promised. So I began to wonder—what is the length of process for converting to other religions? Apparently not nearly as lengthy (or in depth) based on some quick research. 

For most Christian religions, it’s typically a baptism and submitting to Christ’s lordship. For Islam, it’s reciting the shahadah. Now I know it’s a lot more than that spiritually but in terms of length of time to go from non Christian or Islam to an accepted member of the religion the process for the aforementioned is a LOT faster than it is in Judaism. In Judaism, a rabbi has to sponsor an individual for conversion, and they don’t do so lightly. Most traditional conversions take more than a year with some taking as long as three to five. Orthodox conversions can take decades. Now I know in some sects of Christianity the process is a bit longer and more involved so I admit I am not a professional on this topic. After all, all those who tried to bring me to Christianity never got very far. And I’m sure just like antisemitism the world is not done trying to convert me. But I’m here, I’m Jewish, and I’m not going anywhere. 

Till next time, 

Leah Ost